A young family of adventurers living by the sea

Monday, 29 June 2015

Why We Are Not Having Another Child.



We never expected to have Max when we did. I don't think anyone expected it. We were young, still in uni and had barely known each other a year. But we honestly wouldn't change it for the world.

That doesn't stop us getting the "when are you going to have another" from every Tom, Dick and Harry. We get told that we are young and there is plenty of time for another. But honestly, I know in my heart that I don't want to add another member to our party of three.

Max is nearly 5 now. He's going to go to school, we're going to have the chance to start our careers. Loads of our friends left uni and went into great paying jobs in the big city, internships around the world and we seem to be that step ahead of them career wise. I'm not saying that I resent Max for holding us back, in fact the contrary. Having Max has left us more determined, we aren't ones to fritter money away on silly things and not leaving jobs to fester. We know what we want and we know we need to work hard to get there.

He's one determined cookie. One that has known since he could speak he want's to be a rockstar. And let's be perfectly honest, teaching him all of that music, vocal and acting training isn't going to come cheap. I don't want to have loads of children and then have to hold them back because I can't afford to let them all thrive.

People keep telling us that Max is lonely on his own. I have to disagree, we have a great network of friends in the area. Family are all less than an hour away and his best friend of all is a 5 minute drive. Any time he does get on his own is time that he immerses himself in his favourite things; music, Lego, Scooby Doo and any other toys he might have. Making some amazing imaginary worlds.

I don't want another. I don't want to go through pregnancy, labour and the sleepless nights again. Not that my experience was a bad one, it's just one that I don't really want to repeat. Me and Scott agreed that if we were in a better financial position before Max started school then we would talk about it. But knowing we aren't any better off than we were a couple of years ago worries me that financially we wouldn't be able to cope either.

It might sound crazy but I love having just 1 child. We get to do loads of cool stuff together, I don't have to worry about keeping my eye on multiple small people and we feel like the strongest unit there is. That's not to say that people with big families are doing it wrong. Each family is different, the 2 kids and a dog scenario doesn't exist for everyone anymore. So that's why we are choosing to just have 1.
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