A young family of adventurers living by the sea

Thursday, 29 January 2015

A young mum. My story.


I never expected to be a young mum, damn I never imagined myself even being a mum. I was one of those girls at school that everyone said wouldn't be a teen mum, I was too good for that. But at 19, I fell pregnant. 

Most people see 19 and think, well you are old enough to get married, have a house, have a job, why not a baby. But I was at the end of my first year of uni, had been with Scott less than a year when I realised that I was pregnant. 

We were being safe. I was on the pill, I had been on it for years. Religiously taking it as if it was an extension of myself. But for one week I was also taking some tablets for a chest infection. The doctor never told me that it could mess with my pill so I didn't think anything of it. 5 months later and I started getting horrendous headaches and stomach cramps. After thinking things through I tell Scott that I'm coming off the pill and we would need to use alternate contraception. 

A month had passed and I still hadn't got my period. So I thought I would pick up a test. Freaking out that I had messed something up as I was coming off the pill. When those two blue lines appeared I broke down. I didn't know what to do or say. I called Scott in tears and drove all the way down to Portsmouth to tell him. His family guessed almost straight away and within 24 hours my mum knew too. We were both 20, at uni and pregnant. 

We decided to go to the family planning clinic with my mum, talk things through there and decide what the best thing for us to do was. When they got me up to give me an ultrasound they gave me the shock of my life "You're about 6 months pregnant, did you know that?". Cue another breakdown from all of us. Not only was I pregnant. But I had 3 months to decide what the hell I should do. None of us knew how we hadn't noticed. I'd gone up a dress size but put that down to eating rubbish and going out at university. Not being pregnant! 

After sitting with Scott for what felt like days we decided we had to keep this child. it was given to us for a reason and we would love it and bring it up as best as we damn could. It took both sets of parents a while to come to terms. Of course it would, we were young, in our prime and all of a sudden expecting a child that was going to change our lives. I remember my mum coming home one day with a packet of baby grows and giving me a hug. Chatting with her friends at work they had reassured her that it wasn't a bad thing, amongst all the death she dealt with, we were bringing new life into the world and it was a blessing.  

Next thing we knew we were in a whirlwind of appointments, scans and checks. Thankfully everything was perfect. We got told we were having a girl, but still picked out neutral stuff. I'm definitely not a pink girl! (we all know how that turned out!)

Within a fortnight we had deferred a year of uni, sorted out maternity/paternity leave and found a place to live. It was as if we were on fast forward and it was only getting faster. We went on a long weekend to Disneyland Paris which did us the world of good. Our last chance at being us before we were parents. That's not to say we didn't still do what we wanted. 2 days before Max was born we went to a gig. I'm pretty sure that put me into labour. 

I'd already decided that my mum and Scott were to be in the room with me. I didn't know how he would react to all the pain I would be in and I knew that my mum would be a calming influence on the room. Luckily I had a swift labour and he was born in a few hours. When we all realised our little girl was actually a boy I think we were just as shocked as when we found out I was expecting!

It's been tough being a young mum. I've had jeers and stares, comments and murmurs about how I've done it for benefits. What surprises most people is that we are both working, have degrees and not in a council house. Yes we get help but 99% of it is done ourselves. Having Max made us more focused and determined to succeed. 

I ended up in a deep swing of postnatal depression. Looking back now it was because our life was on fast forward. It's only been since I was out of uni that I've managed to slow it down. Take everything in and relax. I've learnt to love being a mum, be proud to be a young parent and want to empower more young mums to feel the same. We aren't the stereotype, in fact none of us are. We are all banishing those stereotypes in one way or another. 

Honestly I wouldn't have it any other way now. We have our own family of 3 and we are perfect that way. Being a young mum was one of the best turning points in my life. I love Max and I can't wait to see him grow up. 



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3 comments

  1. Oh wow I cannot imagine the shock when you found out you were 6 months! I was 21 when I fell pregnant and it was a shock for me too. I think you will get looked at no matter how old you are. They will find something else to judge you for :)

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  2. Thank you for sharing! You have done so well and I can tell you are a wonderful mother to your little son! He is adorable and you should be proud of yourself x

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  3. i was 19 when i fell preganat in a full time, and i still got comments made that i had planned it ect. i domt care having my little man is worth every rumour or comment that was made.

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