Us mums are amazing people. We work hard, make sure theres food on the table, bills are paid and everyone is well dressed. But we don't spend half as much time on ourselves as the others in our family. I know I'm one of those. Max can look gorgeous and I'm there in a ratty top and leggings looking like I've just woken up.
It used to be easier. Max used to go to preschool in the mornings. Giving me that time to do things I wanted; like have a bath, run, craft and blog. Now all of that has to be crammed into an hour each evening, once all the housework has been done and spent a bit of time with Scott. Most nights I'm still awake at 2am and up again at 6am when Max is jumping on the bed.
Max now goes to preschool when I'm at work. I have 20 minutes from dropping him off, to get myself ready for work and pick Scott up so he can drop me off. I'm struggling to find that time where I could do things for ME rather than for everyone else. I'm argumentative, tired and feel so crappy that I'm ill all the time.
I know it's not forever. This time next year Max will be in school and I'll be missing him and our time together each day. We do some amazing things together. From baking and crafts to snuggles on the sofa in front of a good movie. But I've completely lost my identity again. The thing that makes me Laura, not mummy.
This coming year I'm going to focus. Try and put myself in the forefront of things as if I'm not healthy or happy then it's going to affect the others around me. I need to think more positively. I need to book trips and days out without Max, ask for help from those around me and not feel guilty!