A young family of adventurers living by the sea

Friday, 21 March 2014

Fri-Dad


Would you believe it folks, it's Friday. Here I am, on time, back on FriDad after such a weird fortnight.

For those concerned I had eye trouble, I've received treatment for it. I'm not 100% yet, but this is a work in progress.

This week is a real chance for you as a parent to reflect on your job and realise just how good you are if times do get a little tough.
As parents we can worn out, run down and snowed under with life juggling. It can leave you feeling empty, apathetic and sometimes irrelevant. I remember thinking about what on earth I can talk to people about as my life consists of work, Max, a bit of writing if I'm not too tired and...well that's it.

I used to think of what Max would think of me, so I asked him something I've never asked him. "What does daddy do that makes you happy?".
Do you wanna' know what he said?
"When you smile".

For all the crap and fatigue I go through to make him happy to keep him occupied, he's truly content with my efforts and just loves me being happy with him.
That's why I wanted to share just a short list of a few things we sometimes say which sell ourselves short.

1. I'm not the best parent ever.
Why are you trying to sell yourself to someone you wouldn't dare breast feed? Modesty is a fair analysis, but to your child who you strain for, you're up there with Bob the Builder, Peppa Pig and The Fonz.
Be proud of yourself, don't brag just remain confident in yourself.

2. I don't know if I can offer what my child really needs.
I recently watched a couple of interviews with sports personalities and stand up comics. The one thing that stood out about every one was that they came from poor backgrounds and in some cases, broken families.
One comic expressed this about parenthood (though not a parent):
"Children need a certain amount of attention and affection...fuck, you know toys, this and that. The bottom line is a kid will grow up usually to be a better kid when they get the attention and affection and all positive stuff" - Rich Vos
His history does herald a certain dark facade. There's no reason to believe that if you still pour in that effort and love you've held for them since the moment they were placed in your arms.
No situation is ideal, you make it ideal for them.

3. I wish I could be better...
Believe me, this is something I ponder about a lot.
You sit there and feel like opportunity is slipping away from you, money isn't there and there is little to do locally.
I purposely ended this one on an ellipsis, because we can always grow as people. However, we pick and choose what we want to be better.
What we have fundamentally is a solid foundation. Things are working at a steady rate, the ability to improve lies in your intentions to make that change.
Whether it's that job you wanna get, a chance to move closer to family (or away) to even little things like planning days out or fun activities that benefit you and your children.
With a set plan, a goal and a solid foundation to run everything on, there's no reason you can't take that opportunity or go that extra mile.
Parents, all of you (including you, hiding at the back). You're incredible, not perfect, perfections fictitious, but you are incredible. If you don't believe me, ask those curious young hearts you care endlessly about.

That's my FriDad. After work, I have Saturday free so I'm getting my party pants on (I'll probably do more writing and research on my big project).
Any time you feel a little lost or lonely, don't be afraid to reach out. Blogging is a community for a reason.
Have a great weekend.

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